“I came from a good family and had a great childhood. When I was 12 I started to get involved with a different crowd of people. My best friend started to get involved in drugs and I started drinking. I never knew how to deal with all the feelings that was getting. Not just stress but hormones too. I started to cut myself when I didn’t know how to explain how I was feeling. It helped for a while but it was never a long term thing.
Because I thought it was helping I done it more and more, deeper and deeper. By the time I was 14 I was cutting everyday. I never cut my arms because I didn’t want people to see. Nobody knew what was secretly going on because I would always pretend I was fine and I didn’t want anyone to think that I was weird.
When I was 16 a couple of my friends died and by this point I had distanced myself from my childhood friend who was heavy on drugs. She overdosed not too long after. Luckily she survived. I don’t speak to her anymore but I still think of her everyday. The strain of her then lifestyle put a lot of stress on me because she was my best friend and I felt like there was nothing I could do. When she would say she had stopped she never so I finally had to make the decision to cut myself off from her. It was for my mental health I couldn’t take it anymore.
By the time I turned 18 I had lost around 6 people. I thought I had my emotions under control because I was still self harming. I was like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in 2009. I ended up taking 6 months off work because of it, which I don’t think was good for me. After I broke up with my boyfriend I was at the end. I couldn’t take anymore I started acting completely crazy didn’t know what was going on and them months are still a blur. I tried to slit my wrists when I was drunk and also drove away from my home to go drive my car into something that would kill me. Luckily my dad found me before I could go ahead with it.
I managed to sort myself out with the help of anti depressants and my friend and family.
I’m now 25 and I still get bad days and I do sometimes struggle. Even though I’ve now lost 16 people in 9 years but I haven’t let myself get to the same place I was before. I’ve not cut in 5 years or wanted to hurt myself. I’ve learnt it’s ok to talk about how I feel and express my emotions.”
“I would like to congratulate you on being strong and able to help people in their hour of need it could be the difference between life and death.
My story started 32 years ago, my twin brother committed suicide. We the family didn’t have a clue he was contemplating this,he had a good job in the bank everything or so we thought a 21 year old would want but obviously not. We never found out the why or reason which haunts all of us individually everyday. What was worse was he planned it sorted all his belongings without us knowing,he must have been so strong in one way but needed help.
And only a week passed I was at the funeral of my sons friend aged 21 year old male, on the outside like a ray of sunshine nobody new either same old why! Only he knows the reason.
They are oblivious of the love and devastation it leaves behind.
Godbless you all there is light at the end of the tunnel please use this service it’s invaluable”